The VLH - a gift for all occasions.

Q: Christmas is coming! Merriment abounds! Why wouldn't you hug everyone you know?

A: Because you are tired and stressed and working and still trying to figure out what the hell you are going to get the hugee for Christmas, that's why.

Today I took No Mercy and Danae for a spot of Christmas shopping after my eighth day straight of work. On top of this, I didn't get home until three in the morning last night (this morning? In the sleepytime that was nevertheless closer to today {which is now tonight} than last night?) Suffice to say I was a grumpy little....grump. I am the most irrational tired person ever. Objectively, it's quite hilarious.

Anyway, I had just grumped at Danae for being late to Muffin Break (the meeting place of choice in my family, for some unknown reason), and then huffed off, doing a classic bju* fast walk to the car.

A fast walk that slowed dramtically and became quite shameful when I heard the voices of sisterly discontent rumbling behind me. I had an immediate feel bad moment. You know the ones - you realise that you probably shouldn't have been angry over such a small thing, and you feel mean. Well, I certainly do. Specifically, I want people to remember what a great girl I really am (you can read this line with whatever degree of sarcasm you feel is necessary. My mum thinks I'm nice.), and I have to rectify the situation immediately.

So I stopped, and pasted on a sincere smile, and was all "Guuuuuuys! It's me! I'm sorry. Let's just forget that little grump attack ever happened and be friends and skip happily to the Myer carpark arm in arm, mmmkay?"**

Which we did, in a fashion, although Danae's face still had a slight tinge of the child who hath been wronged. We got to the car, had a little high five congratulatory moment on the earlier triumph of scoring a park that was not only close to the door, but DRIVE THROUGH, and chugged off into the sunset.

Only, not quite. I could feel brooding coming from the back seat. Yet I could hardly turn around to the back seat and give Danae a good ol I'm sorry for serious hug. Nope.

I had no choice but to invent an acronym that would simultaneously break the mood and move us on from the regrettable incident. I came up with -

VLH - a.k.a the Virtual Love Hug***.

1) Used when an actaul hug is physically impossible. That almost sounds like it's catering for people with no arms, which it isn't, but if you have no arms, great! Finally, an expression of emotion that is tailored to your specific needs.

2) A way of saying you are sorry without all those awkward apologies.

3) Lastly, for situations where a normal hug of love just isn't enough.

The gift that just keeps on giving. Plus, it's free, which appeals the the dormant povvo in us all.

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* Bju is one of my best buddies at uni. She walks as fast as your average cheetah.

** I may be slightly altering this. In a good, "broadway musical of my life" sort of way.

*** The term "Love Hug" or "Hug of Love! Hug of Loooove!" was actually coined by No Mercy and me (oooh, awesome band name, right there. Feel free to cash in), during our exam period this year. If the other was looking particualrly stressed, a love hug was in order

Besides, how much more fun is it to say? Loooove Hug! Loooooove Hug!

Ahem.